Give Me a Reason
by westwardcircle
Summary: Their names are Demyx, Zexion, Axel, and Roxas and they have nothing in common except for the fact that they all end up in the same asylum after their failed suicide attempts. AkuRoku, ZeMyx, MarVex. Lots of angst.
1. Prologue

**Give Me a Reason  
**

**Summary: **There names are Demyx, Zexion, Axel, and Roxas and they have nothing in common except for the fact that they all end up in the same asylum after their failed suicide attempts.

**Pairings: **AkuRoku, ZeMyx, MarVex

**Warnings: **Suicide, drugs, violence, angst

* * *

**Prologue  
**

_Will they remember me now?_

Silly, you can't remember someone you didn't know, didn't care for, didn't _notice._ Because no one paid any attention to Roxas, not even his own family. In fact, he wouldn't have been surprised if his family had forgotten about him completely. His mom was dead, his dad was too preoccupied with his new girlfriend to even bother coming home, and Sora was the 'cool kid' at school – someone like him doesn't pay attention to the 'loser kid', even if said 'loser kid' was his twin.

He had three friends a couple years back, but they grew apart from him. He never made new friends, instead bullies flocked to him and spread rumors to keep others away.

And, quite frankly, he was sick of all of it.

And that is why he was standing on a chair in the stairwell of his home with a scarf tied to the ceiling and wrapped around his neck.

And that is why he kicked the chair away.

* * *

_All I know,_

_ All I feel,_

_ All I think,_

_ All I – _

Letting out a frustrated growl, Demyx crumpled the paper in his hand and tossed it towards his mini trash can.

And, like all things he does, he failed to get it in.

If there were three words that would describe how Demyx, a very talented writer (yet he didn't know this), felt about himself at this moment, they would be as follows:

Failure

Freak

Loser

Yes, he had self-esteem issues, but it goes beyond just negative thoughts.

You see, Demyx had just downed half a bottle of painkillers and half a bottle of anti-depressants in hopes of actually getting some results from this attempt.

* * *

Axel hung up the phone and immediately collapsed on the ground in tears. It may sound a bit dramatic, but he did do it. You see, he just received the worst news he had ever received in his life.

His whole family had just died in a car accident.

And not only that, but they were on the car ride to visit _him_.

If only he had gone to visit them…

If only he hadn't moved out so soon…

If only he had told them about the bad weather on this side of the state…

If only…

There were so many ways that he could have prevented it.

There were so many ways…

But, now Axel could only think of one way to end this pain he was feeling. There was only one way out of the Hell that had just fallen upon him.

And that way was locked in his closet.

It's called a gun.

* * *

"You filthy sinner! Get out of my house!"

"In case you've forgotten, this is my house, too!"

"No, it's not! Leave!"

"No!"

And then Jenova slapped Zexion.

Behind him, he could hear the snickers of his five, yes five, brothers – Sephiroth, Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo, and Riku.

He was always the black sheep of the family, in both looks and personality.

His brothers and parents were all tall and ridiculously thin with silky silver hair and icy eyes.

Zexion was short and of average weight. His hair was a blue-grey color and his eyes were darker than the rest of the family's.

His family members were all devout Christians who attended church every week, sometimes twice a week, and prayed three times a day.

Zexion was gay.

In short, he never got along with his family, and of course he decided to come out to his mom. Which is why he was currently yelling at himself and running down the street towards the park.

He didn't make it to the park, however. He just decided to sit down in an alley and slit his wrists there.

* * *

**AN: **New story, new series. And this time, it's not Death Note. Please review and send critiques!


	2. Chapter 1 Wake Up

**Disclaimer: **Kingdom Hearts is Not mine.

**AN: **Okay, I told myself I was going to try and updae at least once a week, most likely on Friday or Saturday, but it's going to be hard because the only computer we have is my mom's work computer, so I have to save it all on my flash drive that I tend to lose.**  


* * *

Give Me a Reason**

**Chapter 1 – Wake Up**

After a few days in a coma, Demyx found the hardest thing to do was wake up.

But he did anyways.

And the first thing he thought when he woke up was _Shit. I failed again._

The second thing he thought wasn't really a thought, but more along the lines of what he noticed.

There was a girl in the chair in the corner. Her hair was jelled back and had two pieces poking out of it, making it look like she had antennae. It wasn't her odd hairstyle that creeped Demyx out, though. What was freaky was that she was staring at him with, large, green, _unblinking _eyes.

Only one person had a stare that cruel.

"Larxene," Demyx said nervously, gaining the girl's attention, "Nice to see you, sis. You've died your hair again."

"The correct term is 'bleached'," Larxene corrected him, "As you can see, it's a lot lighter. And don't try to distract me."

Demyx shrunk back as she stomped over, her cheerful demeanor melting into complete anger.

"What the fuck did you think you were pulling?" she yelled at him, flailing her arms, "You told me you wouldn't pull a stunt like that again! Now look at where you are! You could've at least called me, or texted, or e-mailed, or even fucking wrote! But, no! You just go ahead and overdose on fucking painkillers! And how the hell did you even _have_ half a bottle of your fucking medication? At this time of the month, you should only have a couple! Have you been skipping out? Dammit, Demyx, just look at me!"

So the blonde did look at her, his eyes filled with anger and hurt.

"And what about you?" he whispered, "Aren't you supposed to be in rehab? You still had another month until they let you out! Did you skip out on that?"

Larxene took in a deep breath and opened her mouth to yell at him again, but a doctor entered the room, interrupting her.

"I don't know how you got in here, miss," he said, not paying the least amount of attention to the very pissed-off look on both her and Demyx's faces, "But I'm going to ask you to leave."

"But – "

"Leave."

And with that, Larxene huffed and stomped away, leaving Demyx alone again.

* * *

Axel was pissed off.

He had decided to be dramatic in his final moments and shoot himself in the heart, signaling his heart break. And what did he get out of that? Nothing but a stay in the hospital and then a trip to the loony bin.

Yes, Axel had _missed_.

The bullet hit his rib, and not his heart. Then he freaking _screamed_, alerting the neighbors. They were the ones paying for both his hospital and asylum fees. They didn't visit him though, not even on the day he was being transported to the funny farm.

They didn't care; they just didn't want a crazy living near them.

* * *

Roxas was in this place for a few weeks when the redhead came.

He had just gotten out of solitary and had earned enough 'points' to stay in the 'lounge' are (which was really just plastic-covered chairs around a TV) for an extra hour when they brought him in.

There hadn't been anyone of his type of crazy since Roxas was admitted. The suicidal type. At least, that's what Roxas had heard. He didn't actually know if the man actually attempted suicide or was just plain crazy. From his wild red hair, shifty green eyes, and freaking _facial _tattoos, Roxas was pretty sure that it was the latter. Who the hell gets tattoos on their face?

However, it turned out that he _was _suicidal. Roxas found this out when the nurses escorted him to the same wing of the psych ward Roxas was staying in – the Yellow Unit, or Suicide Ward.

And, for the first time since Roxas arrived at this hellish 'hospital', he was excited.

It couldn't be about that (amazingly gorgeous) redhead. It couldn't be about the fact that the redhead was amazingly gorgeous. And Roxas certainly didn't think he was amazingly gorgeous, the thought never crossed his mind. After all, Roxas was straight.

He had to be, or his family really _would_ disown him.

* * *

After almost 3 months at the asylum he was sent to after his futile suicide attempt, Zexion noticed that he could not stand things being too orderly. Everything here was neat and put away, not to mention sterilized. The doors, wings, and floors were labeled based on what the different patients were here for. There were lines on the floor heading towards public areas, like the school, the church (Zexion absolutely refused to go near that place), the cafeteria, and the living area. Hell, they even had a points system.

There were five levels. If you earned enough points, you were promoted to the next level and got extra benefits. Level one was quite similar of solitary confinement. Level two, you were allowed to go to group therapy and had an hour in the 'living room'. Level three and you could eat in the cafeteria and your 'living room' time was upped to 2 hours. Level four and you could walk through the asylum freely, but they constantly monitored you. Level five and you were given consent to leave the asylum, but in a group with a chaperone. At the tail end of level five, you and other people at the end of the level were sent on a trip with a couple chaperones. Then, with consent from therapists and a parent/guardian, you could leave.

It was so precise, so systemized and Zexion hated it here.

* * *

Axel was transported to the asylum alone. Then he was put in a room, after being searched for anything harmful and robbed of his clothes (They gave him gray sweats instead. Gross!) And in that room, he was alone.

The only way he was able to keep himself entertained was by reliving memories - memories of his parents and his brother, memories of his grandparents, memories of his friends, and memories of the person he was before high school, before he met Saix.

God, Saïx. The one person that was able to completely fuck up his mind, turn him inside out, make him doubt himself, and then leave. It hurt so much and no one cared because back home, they didn't care for people like him. They didn't care for homosexuals.

* * *

Demyx knew he where he was gonna go – the 'Neverwas Treatment Center for Mental Illness'. Of course that's where he would be going. He went there the first time.

Ah, his first suicide attempt. He still had the scars on his wrist – deep, red scars that looked fresh despite being there for a few years, and a few faded to pink.

His first attempt…

It caused so much pain for his family, especially Larxene. He was pretty sure that his sister's problems with drugs stemmed from that, and he can't forgive himself for that. His mom died a few months later. It was probably from all the stress he caused her. His dad just couldn't bring himself to look at him. Slowly, his family was just falling apart and it was all his fault.

The redhead was one of the screamers. Roxas had heard about people like that from some of he patients that had been here for a while. They would yell at the doctors about their meds and beg to see somebody that was usually dead or no longer in their life. They screamed a lot the first couple of days, but they usually quieted down by the end of the week.

This was the first night Roxas had encountered someone screaming, so it _had _to be the redhead. He was screaming for someone named Saïx. No, he was doing more than screaming – he was downright begging.

The sound of someone feeling so hopeless and lonely just ripped through Roxas. Did the redhead truly know how it felt? Did anyone know how it felt? The pure desperation that drives someone to the edge…

Did anyone understand?

* * *

In his entire career, Dr. Vexen Evens had never heard anybody scream so loud and sound so desperate. So, of course he was called to the suicide ward to sedate the patient.

"Go, Vexen, go!" one of his psychosis patients, Marluxia, cheered as the psychiatrist made his way to the screamer's room, "Sedate that motherfucker!"

"What are you doing on this floor?" Vexen questioned him. He had long since given up on scolding the pink-haired man for using his first name instead of proper title. He just didn't understand what the phrase 'respect your elders' meant!

"I had to use the 'bathroom.'"

Vexen rolled his eyes at the air quotes the man (and he uses that term lightly) used. "Just go back to your room," he instructed, turning to continue heading towards the still screaming patient's room.

"Aw, Vexy, you're no fun!"

Vexen ignored him, as par usual.

Unbeknownst to the psychiatrist, Marluxia punched the wall as soon as he was out of sight.

"Dammit," the pinkette swore, "Why can't he just see me?"

* * *

Axel wasn't aware that he was screaming until some guy with long blonde hair ran into 'his' room holding some sort of needle.

"What the hell is that for?" Axel yelled.

"You were screaming," the man replied, "I have to sedate you."

"What? Fuck no!"

_Needle, needle, needle, needle, FUCK!_

The blonde shrugged, "Then be quiet."

Axel nodded and the blonde left. A few seconds later, he could hear him yelling at someone named Marluxia about not being in his room.

_Fuckin' weird. This whole place is like a giant dare care._

He sighed and turned over in his bed. He didn't know he was screaming. Hell, he was sleeping before that bitchy doctor barged into his room.

What did he scream? _Why _did he scream?

* * *

The screams quieted down and Zexion sighed, rubbing his temples and lying back down on his stiff, sterile bed. They must have gotten a new patient. The only other time he had heard those screams was a month ago and it was coming from a schizophrenic from the floor beneath them.

At least the screams were gone, and everything had returned back to the normal, peaceful _quiet.

* * *

_

The screams were gone and Roxas was internally worried.

Did they sedate the redhead? Was he okay? Did he somehow find a way to off himself for good?

No, he couldn't have…

And Roxas didn't care.

After all, the redhead wouldn't understand what Roxas had gone through. Therefore, Roxas _can't _care.

He won't care until someone understands.


	3. Chapter 2 In My Head

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. Unfortunately.**

**AN: **I am soooooosoooosoooo sorry this is late. The past week and a half have been hectic. Next chapter's probably going to be late, too.

* * *

**Give Me a Reason**

**Chapter 2 – In My Head**

"Y'know," Marluxia, one of the 4 members of this particular therapy group started, "I kinda hate group."

"We know, you stupid bugger," Luxord, a British patient being treated for an unknown personality disorder, said sharply, "You tell us that every bloody week."

"Just makin' sure you know," Marluxia shrugged and turned to Vexen, "So, what's up, puddin' cup?"

"Aww," Zexion cooed, laying the sarcasm on thick, "You've got a pet name for him. How cute."

"Shut it, emo kid!" Marluxia yelled, looking like he waned to hit said emo over the head.

"Marluxia. No insults, no violence," Vexen cut in.

"You're no fun." The rage was gone from his voice and was replaced, once again, by unashamed flirtiness.

Xaldin, a patient being treated for borderline personality disorder, opened his mouth to comment on Marluxia's change of mood, but the door opened, cutting him off. A short blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy was escorted into the room by one of the staff members. After the staff member exchanged a few unimportant words with Vexen, the boy was brought to an empty chair around the circle and was told to introduce himself.

"I'm Roxas," he said and Marluxia immediately judged him as one of those stuck up kids looking for attention by the tone of his voice.

"And why are you here, Roxas?" Vexen asked in his 'therapist voice' (_which_ _wasn't quite as sexy as his actual voice_).

"I tried to hang myself in the stairwell of my house."

Marluxia inwardly smirked. Yep, he was definitely looking for attention.

"Why don't we go around the circle and introduce ourselves to Roxas?" Vexen suggested, "I'll go first. I'm Dr. Evens. I'm here because it's my job."

_Silly Vexen, your humor sucks._

"I'm Xaldin. I have borderline personality disorder. I threw a desk out my teacher and a chair at the window."

_Wish I'd done that to my teachers._

"I'm Luxord. They don't know what I have. I drove my dad's car off a cliff. On purpose."

_Hehe. Good idea. I'll have to try that one out._

"Zexion. Slit my wrists."

_Psh. Emo boy._

"Marluxia." _The greatest. _"I have homicidal tendencies."

_And a little voice in your head that makes commentary on everything you see and hear.

* * *

_

Roxas' new therapy group was…intimidating. Luxord was constantly glaring at him. Xaldin was violent anyways. Zexion didn't talk, he just stared. Dr. Evens was quite creepy himself and Marluxia was, well…he just made Roxas feel uncomfortable.

Now he was alone again in his room, which also meant that he was safe.

Well, at least he was safe from other people. He was never safe from himself and the thoughts constantly poisoning his brain and teasing his mind. Especially those thoughts of a certain gorgeous redhead he had only caught a glimpse of.

Of course he hadn't seen him, he was in solitary just like all patients are when they arrive, but he hadn't heard him either. He hadn't expected one of the notorious screamers to quiet down so easily and that worried him. Was he okay?

_No, no. I can't think of him. That's obsessive. He's not gorgeous and I didn't think anything like that. I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay._

He obviously ignored the little voice in the back of his head telling him that denial was the first step to acceptance.

* * *

The asylum hadn't changed at all.

Except for the new patients in the 'living room', it was exactly the same as it had been when Demyx as here last. Same white walls, same white floors, same arrows on said white floors, same point system, same 'levels' with the same benefits. It was just so…bland…

He was already sick of this place and decided to get out as soon as possible. It was what he did last time, and it worked.

Oh, God, the last time he was here…

Hopefully _he _wasn't working here anymore. If he was, Demyx wouldn't be able to bear it. After all that happened…

God, he was amazing. And then…

Demyx's heart was ripped out by him.

* * *

There was another new person here. The only people who had seen him were Luxord and Zexion. He was escorted into the suicide wing, just like the last patient. After he was gone, Luxord looked at Zexion.

"You have just been blessed with another member of the 'happy-happy suicide' family. Congratulations," the Brit said with all the American-style sarcasm he could muster with his accent.

"Oh, shut it," Zexion commanded sharply. Then he got up and left, leaving Luxord confused on the couch.

"Can't you take a joke?" he asked no one in particular, now that Zexion had left.

* * *

Wow, this place was as fucking exciting as watching white paint dry on a very moist day under an umbrella. Yep, Axel was just having the time of his life in this room. Three times a day he was fed and twice he was freaking _accompanied _to the bathroom. What do they expect him to do? Give himself a swirly?

Please, Axel wasn't _that _suicidal. Hell, he was barely suicidal at all. He was just lonely.

His family was taken away by a car crash. His friends were pushed away by his homosexuality. Saïx left of his own accord. Saïx left him for a man 10 years their senior. His name was Xemnas and Axel was almost positive that he was the owner of an asylum in the area.

He just hoped it wasn't this one.

* * *

Vexen was sick and tired of Marluxia. Everyday the man would harass and flirt with him. Vexen didn't even know what was so attractive about himself anyways. He was old, bony, grumpy, had an annoying voice, easily irritated, and socially inept. Why would _Marluxia_, possibly the most _gorgeous _man ever, be interested in him?

Vexen also wanted to know why he thought the man was gorgeous. There were so many reasons why he _should not_ think that, but he did.

First, he wasn't homosexual.

Second, he was married to very nice _woman._

Third, he was just not his type. He was too flashy, too outgoing, too stubborn, too flirty, too power-hungry, too crazy, and, most of all, too _gay_.

* * *

Marluxia always got what he wanted and right now he wanted Vexen.

His long blonde hair and venom green eyes were to die for. His bony body structure and wide hips were killer. His voice was amazing and gave away what he was feeling – always.

And when he was around Marluxia, the pinkette was almost positive that Vexen's voice was giving out the 'confused' emotion. Or, rather, the confused state of mind that often meant Maluxia was succeeding in flipping somebody.

Now what to do about Vexy's wife…?

_She volunteers here. I trust you know what to do.

* * *

_

Zexion was in one of his 'low' moods. After Luxord made that comment about the suicide wing and the new patient, he just immediately shifted from 'anti-social' to 'depressed.'

You see, Zexion had an emotional disorder, not depression, as the pathetic psychiatrists in this place thought.

He varied from emotions, but they were very raw, never a mix of two, unless he was in his 'anti-social'. He went from depressed to angry to anti-social to prudish.

He was never happy and he was never in control.

* * *

The emo-looking guy Demyx saw when he arrived would just not stop invading the mulleted man's thoughts. He didn't get a good, long look at him, but he had to admit that he would have.

From what he saw, the man was pale with deep blue eyes and purpley-grey hair falling in his face. The look on his face definitely read 'depressed'.

Demyx hoped that they were in the same wing so he could see him again.

Hopefully he wouldn't be wrong with _this _love at first sight.


	4. Chapter 3 Hallelujah

**AN: **Ugh. The end makes me feel dirty. Anyways, PLEASE nag me about this story, it will make me work faster.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Give Me a Reason**

**Chapter 3 – Hallelujah

* * *

**

For the first time since arriving here, Zexion showed up at mass.

The 'church' area was small, but even Zexion had to admit that it was beautiful. Instead of the pews being the normal, bland polished wood, they were white and almost marble. There was one stained glass window (covered with plastic for suicide safety, of course) - an image of the Virgin Mary holding a cross in one hand and a dove in the other. The pulpit wasn't dramatically raised, like it was at the church in Zexion's neighborhood, making the priest seem more human and less stuck-up.

Most importantly, there was no Jenova standing next to Zexion constantly badgering him about his clothes, his hair, his posture, his mannerisms, his sexuality, his personality, and himself in general.

What surprised Zexion the most about this so-called 'church', however, was Marluxia sitting down in the front row.

He was sitting up straight and was dressed very well – a simple white button up shirt and jeans. His hair was even tamed and tied back.

Despite the fact that Zexion practically _hated _the overly flamboyant man, he found himself sitting next to him.

Thankfully, Marluxia said and did nothing to upset Zexion. Actually, he did not say nor do anything at all.

Then Mass started and Zexion was sucked in.

It was funny – he was brought up extremely catholic and was dragged to church everyday since he stopped being a fussy baby. Even before that, Jenova would sit him in front of the television, put on the religion channel, and leave him there with Riku and Sephiroth. Sephiroth would leave the room, telling them 'If mom asks, I went to the bathroom.' Then he and Riku would take turns napping. They were smart kids.

But their intelligence was not the point of Zexion's thoughts.

It was the fact that he may have been immersed in the Catholic religion all his life, but he knew surprisingly little about it. Whenever he went to Mass back home, he was too preoccupied with looking good in front of his mother to actually listen and understand what was going on.

The songs, when sung by the right person (and Marluxia had a beautiful voice) were amazing. Sure, the instrumentalist could use a little work, but they were still very pretty.

Then the priest started talking. His voice was rich and smooth, a wonderful contrast to the priests in Zexion's town. When they talked, they sounded like they were yelling at you, not telling you a story. But this priest really brought out that the Bible wasn't just a set of guidelines, it was also a story.

When it came for him to give the homily, the priest told a story so familiar to Zexion, it practically sent shivers down his spine.

He told the story of his alcoholic father and abusive mother. When his father left the family, the abuse started. However, he was the only one of his siblings to suffer this abuse. Because of this, he felt weird, different. Like there was something wrong with him, something that couldn't be fixed. The abuse and pain came to a point where he felt like he didn't want to live anymore.

Zexion didn't realize he was crying until Marluxia put his arm around him and pulled him into a half-hug. The contact was weird, but not unwanted. In fact, Zexion found himself moving closer to the man and even _missing _the contact when they had to break apart so they could stand up to sing.

* * *

_Zexion showed up at Mass today_, Vexen noted, _That is a step in the right direction._

Vexen, being Zexion's psychiatrist, obviously knew of his extremely religious and abusive mother. He also knew about what happened to him at confession once when he was six.

However, Zexion hadn't told him that. The boy's brother, Riku, had. Riku had also told him some other interesting things that not even Zexion knew. For example, after Zexion's suicide, Riku and some of their non-immediate family had tried to convince Jenova to go to therapy for her religious obsession. However, she didn't. That caused Riku and most of their non-immediate family to cut all ties with her.

Vexen wasn't about to tell Zexion this, however. If he did tell him, the emo would no doubt think his family was falling apart and then blame himself. That would cause him the progress Vexen made with him to halt and even move backwards. That would be bad.

Then he saw Marluxia. Or, rather, he saw Marluxia holding Zexion against him.

_Maybe, _the doctor noted, _Just maybe, moving backward might be a good thing. After all, it will get him away from Marluxia._

And Vexen walked away, not realizing that the burning sensation in his throat was actually _jealousy.

* * *

_

Marluxia _always _made a mental note about how broken Zexion looked, whether he realized it or not. However, he didn't know whether he was actually broken, or if he just seemed that way to fit the 'emo kid' stereotype. Then said emo showed up at Mass for the first time. His behavior there proved that he was not only broken, but that he was also _weak._

He was crying like some freaking sissy because of the always overly cheesy (especially today) sermon.

_But you're holding him._

And he was one of those freaking pity criers - the kind of person who shakes and sobs and draws attention to themselves when they cry! God, some people have no decency!

_That doesn't change the fact that you're holding him right now._

Indeed, Marluxia _was_ holding him and he was very aware of it. He was also aware of Zexion leaning into his half-embrace. However, he was going to ignore not only the Voice's snarky comments, but the comfortable feeling of someone being held against him.

_You like it._

God, Zexion was such a pussy.

_You're the one comforting him with a hug and _enjoying_ that hug._

_It's not my fault!_ Marluxia protested to the voice, _He's the one who overreacted to the sermon, which, might I add, was nothing special!_

_Maybe he's _not _overreacting._

_He's crying. Hell, the kid's sobbing._

_Did you even hear what the preacher said? He told a story about being abused. Maybe it applies to Zexion. Maybe he was abused, too._

Marluxia was shocked to the point where his eyes actually opened. He had never thought about what had caused him to try and kill himself and now he knew.

Just looking at the boy, Marluxia could tell that the Voice was right. He knew the _real _reason Zexion wanted to die.

* * *

Zexion was still shaken up by the sermon, but he must have been more freaked out than he thought because soon, he found that he was lost. Yes, he was lost in an asylum with paths on the floor.

He sighed and took in his surroundings. The wing _looked _perfectly normal, except for the fact that no one was in it. There were no nurses doing their rounds, no doctors making visits, not even any patients going anywhere. Someone was _always_ wandering around. However, this hallway was completely empty.

But he wasn't alone, as he soon found out.

From behind one of the doors, loud moans and groans kept sounding out.

Curious as to what was happening, Zexion made his way to the source of the noise and peeked in the window of the door. He really wished that he didn't, though.

Inside the room, Xaldin was on top of Xigbar – one of the nurses. To add to the mental scarring, they actually _were_ having sex and Luxord was sitting right next to them, _jacking off _to the sight.

Zexion backed away _very quickly_, resisting the urge to vomit. His back hit the wall as someone chuckled. Whirling his head around, he saw Marluxia walking down the hallway in all his fabulousness and confidence.

Zexion quickly drew in a sharp breath, taking in the elder man's appearance. With just the unbuttoning of part of his shirt and the letting down of wild hair, he had transformed from an innocent Catholic, to an incredibly sexy sinner with hungry eyes boring directly into Zexion's.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Marluxia asked Zexion, his smirk betraying the seemingly innocent question, "You look like you've seen something rather…disturbing." The pinkette's eyes glanced at the door Zexion had just bolted away from.

_Of course, _he thought, _This is _the _hallway. He would obviously find something 'disturbing' going on._

_ You want to add to that something 'disturbing', don't you?_

Marluxia _always _wanted to add to that 'something disturbing'.

His smirk widened when he looked into Zexion's fear-filled eyes. He could have the emo right now, any way he wanted, and the boy wouldn't be able to fight back since he was smaller than Marluxia, and obviously weaker, too. Plus, he was gorgeous.

_What about Vexen?_

_He can wait, _Marluxia inwardly replied to the Voice, _I have something else right now._

And then Marluxia moved in for the kill.

* * *

Marluxia just kissed Zexion. Gorgeous, sexy _psychopathic _Marluxia just kissed Zexion.

Images of a time he didn't want to remember flashed through Zexion's head and he momentarily freaked out, but he eventually calmed down. Then he realized that this was his first time being kissed, and Marluxia was invading his _personal space._ Of course, there was also the fact that Marluxia was a _man_. Zexion may be homosexual, but he certainly wasn't used to making out with random men all the time.

But, then again, I felt so good. Marluxia lips were soft against his and the older man's light touches were ending feelings throughout Zexion's body that he had never felt before.

So he gave in and kissed back.

Without the kiss being broken, Marluxia hoisted the emo into the air. Not knowing what to do, the teen wrapped his legs around Marluxia's waist. In order to support the boy's weight, the pinkette found himself cupping Zexion's ass. This brought a gasp from Zexion and Marluxia took that opportunity to plunge his tongue into Zexion's mouth. With a slight squeak, Zexion pulled away.

Marluxia glared at him.

"I'm not going to stop," he said as they entered an empty room, "Whether you want me to or not."

"I know," Zexion replied, realizing what he got himself into, "I know."

* * *

"I wouldn't go that way if I were you," Naminé, another doctor at the asylum, warned Vexen, "_The _hallway is busy."

"Xigbar?" Vexen sighed.

"No," she replied, "Well, he's probably there, too, but Marluxia was getting quite close to one of the suicide patients."

Vexen didn't show any emotion, but he could _swear _his heart was physically breaking.

"Okay," he said, hoping his voice wasn't cracking, "Thank you for the warning."

However, he paid no heed to the warning, and continued the same way he was going.


	5. Chapter 4 Meetings

**Disclaimer: **Kingdom Hearts is not mine.

**AN: **I was at ConnectiCon this weekend :D But I finished this on Thursday, so I couldn't upload until now.

* * *

**Give Me a Reason**

**Chapter 4 – Meetings**

"Welcome back, Demyx," Dr. Evens greeted the musician, "As you can tell, nothing has changed about the way things work here."

The patient wanted to ask if the staff had changed at all, but that would just make his doctor curious and cause him to pry more. Demyx didn't want that.

"So," the psychiatrist continued, "Are we going to make this difficult or are you going to tell me why you're here? And please don't lie this time."

"Then I guess there's no use trying the 'I misread the dose' trick, is there?" Demyx replied.

"You were on that medication for years with no dose changes. That isn't likely."

"Then I'm going to go with the truth – I tried to kill myself. Again."

"That is why you are in the suicide ward. Again."

"I suppose you want to know why."

"That would be part of my job."

"I don't know," Demyx practically sighed, "I just felt like a failure."

Vexen raised an eyebrow. "Care to extrapolate?"

"Bad grades. Bad music."

"Is that all?"

"I hadn't had much contact with my friends and although I lived with my parents, I felt a world apart from them."

"How is that important?"

"I dunno."

Vexen shot Demyx a very well-practiced 'no nonsense' look. The teen sighed and continued.

"I just, I dunno," he paused to think, "I was just feeling lonely."

"So loneliness caused you to take a fatal amount of your medication?" the doctor asked skeptically.

Demyx, unaffected by Dr. Evens' sarcasm and frank rudeness, stuck his tongue out and scolded the doctor, telling him not to be so mean.

Vexen inwardly sighed, but kept any signs of exasperation from showing. Two weeks he had been this boy's doctor and he always started out the sessions seriously, but by the end he acted like a child.

"Demyx," he addressed the teen sternly, "You are acting childish. Stop."

"Aww," Demyx whined, "I _like _being childish. It beats being the dark, overly-serious me!"

_That's odd, _Vexen noted, _That sentence infers that there is more than one Demyx._

Then it dawned on Vexen. Just because he tried to kill himself, that doesn't mean that he _has _to be depressed. He could very easily be bipolar, have a split personality, or something of the sort.

Realizing this, the psychiatrist quickly made a note about this discovery in Demyx's file. He turned back to the teen, but before he could ask anymore questions, the buzzer signaling the end of the session ran out.

Being used to this, Demyx stood and made his way to the door to be escorted back to his room by one of the nurses.

* * *

Naminé loved her job almost as much as she loved art. However, there were a lot of downsides to being a psychiatrist at a psych ward. Like the time Luxord threatened to throw a chair at her, or the time Xaldin actually _did _throw a chair at her (thankfully, he missed).

Another thing about her job that got her down was working with the suicide patients. Talking to them always reminded her of a time in her _own _life when she had almost completely lost hope. That was a time she did _not _want to remember.

One patient in particular reminded her of that time. His name was Roxas and he suffered from one of the worst cases of depression and distorted image that Naminé had ever encountered. His hopelessness and loneliness were at such a point that they practically wafted off of him.

He thought that he was an ugly, rejected freak, when in reality he was actually adorable and very well-liked. He was just pushing his friends away (of course, he thought that they were pushing him away).

When Naminé was younger, she had been the same as him. That was why she promised herself that she would help him see just how lucky he was, no matter what.

* * *

Axel really didn't give a shit about this place. All that the nurses wanted was sex, all that the doctors wanted was money, and all that the other patients wanted was to get the fuck out of this place, Axel included.

So, through pretending to open up to his so-called 'therapist' and just doing what he was told, Axel managed to move up a level. Today was his first day at group therapy.

He was escorting into the room by an older male nurse with scars and an eye patch. Not only was he slightly creepy, but his glowing golden eyes (or, rather, eye) reminded Axel way too much of Saïx.

However, Axel completely forgot about that nurse when he got an eyeful of his therapy group.

The therapist in charge was a skeleton of a man with big, green eyes and very long blonde hair that was partially pulled back into a ponytail. He looked quite agitated, but he also had a sadness about him.

Sitting next to the doctor, a bit too close to be qualified as a professional relationship, was a _very_ attractive man. He had dark blue eyes and pink hair cut in a layered style that accentuated his face perfectly. The air he was giving off was completely cocky and overconfident, but it worked well with him. He didn't seem like the type of man to lie down and submit.

As far away from the pink-haired man as was possible, was a very short, very thin, very pale emo teen. His hair was this odd blueish-slate color that faded to a purple hue at the ends. It was short in the back, but long enough in the front to cover the entire right side of his face, shielding one of his cerulean blue eyes. Was he hiding something beneath that hair?

Then there was the blonde teen. He was also very short, he probably only came up to Axel's collar, if that. He must have been quite young, because his face was in that awkward, yet cute, point between 'chubby baby' and 'grisly man', creating a strange adolescent allure. Paired with golden blonde sex hair and big blue eyes, the kid was a total babe magnet. However, there was a hollow emptiness in his eyes, telling of experience and sadness beyond what someone his age should have to endure. They also had a haunting quality about them which robbed his appearance of any youth, innocence, or positive emotion that it held up to that point.

Axel stared at the boy (who stared back), completely breathless, until Therapist-man cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence. Then a crazy, energetic, ball of mullet practically skipped into the room.

"Hi! I'm Demyx!" he shouted, way too energetic for his own good, "Am I in time for the party?"

"Yes, Demyx," Therapist-man replied, "Please, take a seat, both of you."

"Demyx?" Axel turned to look at the teen, "Is that you?"

"Axel?" he yelled, hugging the redhead, "I haven't seen you in _ages_!"

"Save the reunion for later," Therapist-man demanded, "Sit down and introduce yourselves."

"I already – " Demyx began, but a glare from Therapist-man silenced him.

"I'm Axel!" said man spoke before even sitting down, "Got it memorized?"

He was met with blank stares.

"Shut the fuck up," the pinkette randomly said, causing everyone in the room to look at him as if he had sprouted a tail and an extra head. A faint blush spread across his cheeks and Therapist-man raised an eyebrow and scribbled something down on his clipboard. "Sorry, just having a conversation with myself."

_I have to be careful with what I say, _Axel thought, noting this, _Therapist-man seems to be the guy that catches _everything.

"As I already said, I'm Demyx" the musician continued, now sitting, as if there was no interruption.

"I am Dr. Vexen Evens," Therapist-man introduced himself, "Would you mind telling us why you're here?"

"I overdosed on painkillers and various other medications!" Demyx replied, way too cheerfully. Axel honestly felt bad for him. He had already tried to kill himself once before and when he came back, his parents, and pretty much the rest of his family, practically disowned him. It was no wonder he tried to kill himself again.

"I…shot myself in the chest," Axel explained. He could tell that that confession piqued some interest from the blonde.

"My name is Zexion," Emo Kid introduced himself without Dr. Evens' cue, "I am here because I slit my wrists."

"I'm Roxas," Blondie took Zexion's introduction as a cue to also introduce himself, "And I tried to hang myself."

Another suicide?

"I'm Marluxia," the pinkette spoke, his voice sounding a lot more charismatic than it sounded during his previous outburst, "And I'm here for violence against others, not myself."

Demyx was the only one who laughed at the poor joke, but the other three suicide patients looked at each other, realizing that they may not be alone after all.

* * *

Roxas was even more intrigued by the redhead due to the group therapy session. Sure, he had known that the red- no, Axel, was in the suicide wing, but he had expected him to try a suicide closer to Demyx and Zexion's – one with a higher survival rate. However, his attempt was a lot closer to Roxas'.

He had really wanted to die.

He wasn't looking for love or attention, as Roxas expected from the other two suicide patients in the group. Axel just genuinely wanted to end it all.

That was the only thing Roxas could think of on the way back to 'his' room – why did Axel want to die?

He just _had _to find out.

* * *

_Shit, shit, SHIT!_ Marluxia continually swore to himself on his way back to his room, _Fuckin' hell, Shitty little…little CUNT!_

_ Language, dear, language._

_ It's all _your _fucking fault, anyways!_

He had answered the Voice, which was no big deal in itself, except he had answered _very loudly OUT LOUD _in front of _VEXEN_, who, in case you had forgotten, was Marluxia's fucking _therapist._

One of the last things he wanted Vexen to know (right next to him and Zexion having sex) was the existence of the Voice. That would not only be bad not only because it would pose a whole new set of questions that Marluxia was _not _fond of answering and cause him to get screened for all of these new illnesses that weren't in the question before, but it would cause a setback in the relationship that Marluxia was unyielding trying to forge with the psychiatrist.

_Are you listening, Voice? _Marluxia challenged the being, _'Cause if you are, then I would like to tell you that you should go fuck yourself with a goddamn rake, you shitty little douche bag! Screw you so hard that your grandkids will feel it! I hope you, your sister, and whatever pets you may own at the moment crawl into a deep, dark, moist hole and die a horrible, painful fucking death! I want you _OUT OF MY LIFE!

_Aww, is someone having a tantrum? Don't forget, I technically _don't exist.

_If you were a physical being, _Marluxia continued to threaten, _Then you would be bleeding in a ditch from your eyes, mouth, nose, anus, and several other parts of your damned ugly body. Plus, you would be suffering from a severe lack of vital organs. Do you hear me, you filthy son of a BITCH!_

_ But I'm not a physical being, you can't hurt me. I only exist __in your head._

Then an idea dawned on Marluxia.

He abruptly stopped walking and, without a moment's hesitation, started repeatedly bashing his head against the wall.

"Marluxia!" the nurse escorting him shouted, then quickly made her way towards the patient. She tried to get him away from the wall, but her efforts were all in vain. He continued hitting his head, while lashing out against her. "Shit!" she swore, then reached for her walkie-talkie.

Realizing that she wanted to call for backup, Marluxia lunged at her. She started to scream, but the man covered her mouth.

He removed his hands from her mouth, but moving them to her throat.

"No!" he heard someone yell, and he turned to see Vexen running towards them. Then it clicked. This woman was Vexen's wife.

"You slut!" Marluxia shouted, "You filthy whore!"

He brought his arm back and punched her, his insults getting louder and louder as he continued to beat her.

Eventually, she was able to start screaming, and not soon after, half the staff came running to her aide. Marluxia was pulled off of her and restrained by several nurses and volunteers, but he continued to fight until a needle was jabbed into the side of his neck.

The last thing he saw before he passed out was Vexen holding his…his _wife _(now bloody and bruised) against his side.

But instead of being angry this time, Marluxia just felt like breaking down and crying, for the first time in his miserable life.


	6. Chapter 5 Kiss

**Disclaimer: **Kingdom Hearts isn't mine.

* * *

**Give Me A Reason**

**Chapter 5 – Kiss

* * *

**

Vexen, who had his head buried in his arms and was suppressing the urge to scream, was not angry; he was beyond angry. He was fucking pissed.

To think that Marluxia not only had the nerve to almost _kill _the doctor escorting him back to his room, but to almost kill Vexen's wife…

The doctor angrily sighed.

It was all his fault. He had asked his wife to escort one of his patients in place of the usual nurse, who was away on vacation. He knew Marluxia would get angry at his wife if they should ever meet – she was the only thing standing between the pinkette and his prize (Vexen). He also knew that Marluxia was still quite unstable and, based off his outburst during group, going to have one of his 'episodes' soon.

It's a shame, the pinkette had almost moved up a level.

If it was up to anybody else, Marluxia would be back in solitary. However, he didn't deserve that. Sure, he beat someone up (_My wife, nonetheless, _Vexen reminded himself), but that was his first meltdown in _months_. Group therapy definitely helped him in acting more civilized, too. Vexen also wanted to figure out the reason behind that outburst.

The doctor certainly didn't want him to stay on this level just so they could see each other more often. That definitely wasn't a reason.

* * *

_Blue eyes. Misty, lusting, _wanting.

_Pale skin. Sweaty, crinkling, _livid.

_Lithe body. Stretching, arching, _moaning.

_Panting and squirming underneath Axel was Roxas._

Axel woke up with a start. He sat up in the sterile bed, panting, then he swore under his breath, realizing what had just happened.

He had had a _sex dream_ about Roxas – a boy he had just met, hadn't even said two words to, and, to top it off, a boy that was at least _five years _Axel's junior, making him a minor, and, therefore, illegal!

Sighing, Axel swung his feet out of the bed and just stared at his lap in horror.

_Shit. This is not good._

Of course, much to Axel's terror, the door opened and Xigbar stepped into the room. Of course, the first thing the nurse noticed was Axel's _problem_ and a malicious smirk spread across his scarred face.

"Need help?" he teased, licking his lips.

However, an extreme death glare from Axel caused Xigbar's smirk to drop from his face.

"You have ten minutes until breakfast," the nurse explained, "Get rid of it or deal."

The door slammed shut and Axel lied back on his bed, shuddering. The harassment from Xigbar was enough to turn Axel off for at least a week and a half.

The redhead sighed and started getting ready, quietly cursing the sweats he was forced to wear. As soon as he left his room, the first person he ran into was, of course, Roxas. The blonde only acknowledged Axel's presence with an empty glance his way, but he didn't seem to mind being pressed to the wall and kissed. In fact, he kissed back.

They were in that position until a nurse came along and ordered them to break apart. On their way to the cafeteria, the pair acted as if nothing had happened, except they seemed to be standing as far away from each other as possible.

* * *

Marluxia had not yet waked from his drug-induced sleep. He would not move and he would not dream. He also would not wake until the sedative wore off – which gave Vexen about an hour for his visit.

For most of that hour, Vexen just stood by the man's bed, gathering his thoughts. Then, carefully and tentively, he bent down and pressed his lips to Marluxia's.

_Just right.

* * *

_

Demyx couldn't believe his luck. He had moved up a level abnormally quick and when he was put in a therapy group, it was the same group as Zexion – the gorgeous guy he saw the first day here and was determined to make his own!

Of course, Zexion must have chosen today to _not _show up to the cafeteria to eat, so Demyx ended up sitting alone to eat. That is, until Axel showed up.

"Hey," Demyx greeted his ex-bandmate, "What's up?"

Axel didn't answer, he just stared dreamily into space.

"Hello?" Demyx waved a hand in front of the red-head's face, "Earth to Axel?"

Axel continued to ignore him.

Demyx sighed, he did not like being ignored. Focusing his attention to where Axel was gazing, he could not find anything at interest at all. Well, except for Roxas, who was staring at Axel with misty eyes and a small smile. But Demyx missed that.

Demyx finally managed to snap Axel out of his trance by pinching him just below his elbow.

"Ow!" he hissed, "What the hell was that for?"

"You were spacing out," Demyx explained, "Your food was getting cold."

Axel rolled his eyes and dug into his breakfast – it was supposed to be eggs and bacon, but it looked like ribbon and vomit. Then he did something totally uncanny. He sighed.

"Dude," Demyx broke into his thought process, "Did you just _sigh_?"

"Oh my God, Demyx, tell me I didn't!"

"You did! Oh my God! You know what this means!"

"Dear Lord, no, it's not true!"

"You're in love!"

Demyx grinned at Axel's look of complete terror. Said redhead pushed his food away and buried his head in his hands.

This was good for Axel, Demyx decided; he needed to get Saïx out of his head.

* * *

After Vexen's visit to Marluxia's room, he hurried immediately to the hospital to check on his wife.

Much to Vexen's horror, she was awake when he came in. However, she didn't notice him, so he was able to wipe his mouth free of any Marluxia germs that may have been left over.

"Honey," Vexen greeted, causing her to look at him with endearing eyes.

"Hello, Vexen," she greeted with a smile, "How are you?"

"I am fine," he went to sit by her bed, "How is your head doing?"

"Just fine! Thankfully, nothing was permanently damaged and I should be out of here in a few days."

"I am so sorry," Vexen had to look down to apologize, "I knew something was up with Marluxia. I should have just brought him back to his room myself."

"Don't feel bad! You didn't know he was going to act so violently! Besides, I'd much rather be here, then watch you be in the hospital."

"You know I feel the same way. I hate seeing you hurt."

She smiled and pulled him into a light embrace.

"I love you, Vexen."

"I love you, too," Vexen rep**lied**, "Naminé."


	7. Chapter 6 Consequences

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts isn't mine.

AN: FINALLY! School started and I'm really stressed, so I've been doing a lot of writing, but not enough typing. I've already written out half of chapter 7~

* * *

**Give Me a Reason**

**Chapter 6 – Consequences

* * *

**

Demyx was happy for Axel. His friend hadn't liked anyone since he and Saïx went out, and that just ended in heartache of the worst kind. Much like how Demyx's relationship with a nurse at this godforsaken place ended. Although, Demyx had to admit that Axel suffered more due to that being the redhead's first relationship.

Demyx also had his eye on someone. But he was yet to make a move on his hot piece of emo.

The teen sighed, but didn't stop walking to his room. How could he get Zexion to notice him in _that_ way? The emo obviously didn't appreciate the hyper idiot personality Demyx usually put on. He probably went for the sulky, sullen type – which Demyx was _not_.

He was in the middle of formulating a plan when he stopped dead in his tracks.

While he was lost in thought, he had wandered off. He was now in _the _Hallway.

His eyes widened and he found himself on his knees, breathing deeper and quicker than was necessary. He wasn't panicking, though. He was _pissed._

In one of these rooms, he had lost his virginity. In another he fell in love. And then in another, he was betrayed and his heart was ripped out of chest and ripped into millions of pieces.

And walking down the hall, with two patients Demyx had never seen before, was the man that had caused all that.

* * *

Xigbar was surprised. Some kid was in _the _hallway and he wasn't getting' it on with anyone else. Plus, he looked like he was having a mental breakdown.

"Hey, kid," Xigbar said, trying to get his attention. The patient looked up at the nurse with the beautiful sea-green eyes that almost caused him to fall in love.

"Shit," Xigbar swore under his breath and ran towards the kid, leaving Luxord and Xaldin by themselves.

"Demyx," he whispered once he was crouched near the kid.

Almost immediately, Demyx's eyes were filled with complete and total rage.

_Shit!_ Xigbar thought, _This is bad!_

"Are you okay?" the nurse asked, although he immediately regretted it.

"Yes, Xigbar!" Demyx shouted and jumped to his feet, knocking Xigbar over, "I'm perfectly fine! I'm so fucking great right now! It's not like I'm re-living any painful memories or anything! I'm so great, that I'm fucking pissed and was having a mental breakdown on the floor five seconds ago! I'm definitely not regretting anything! I'm definitely not regretting _giving everything to you_! I'm not pissed off, hurt, or fucking _suicidal_! I'm O-FUCKING-KAY!"

Xigbar immediately jumped up, knowing what happened when Demyx got mad. Then Demyx punched him. Hard. He staggered back – he wasn't expecting back. The teen pulled his arm back to punch him again, but Xigbar grabbed his wrist and started dragging him out of the hallway and to Vexen's office. Demyx resisted the entire time, but he wasn't at his strongest right now – both physically and mentally.

* * *

Vexen just wanted this day to be over. He wanted to get out of this damned asylum and visit Naminé – he had to reassure himself that he really, truly loved her. But he still had to wait six hours till his work day was officially over.

So, he was stuck trying to get Zexion to talk to him by playing stupid mind games that he was much too tired to really pay attention to.

Zexion's therapy session was just about done when Xigbar burst in with a screaming Demyx in tow.

"What's going on?" the doctor demanded.

"I found him in _the _hallway, freaking out. Then he started acting violently and punched me."

"Really?" Vexen asked, a taunting undertone in his voice, "_He _punched _you_?"

Xigbar rolled his eyes, "Are ya gonna patronize me or do your job?"

Vexen sighed and rubbed his temples. "Xigbar, bring Zexion back to his room. Demyx, come sit down."

It took more than a command to get Demyx to sit. Xigbar had to force him into the chair because of the struggling. However, once the nurse left, Demyx practically burst into tears.

"Demyx," Vexen said, no emotion in his voice, "You have never acted up like this before. Why did you react so violently?"

Demyx didn't reply. In fact, he _couldn't _reply, he was sobbing so hard.

_I should just sedate him, _Vexen told himself, but immediately recoiled in horror, _No, no, no! I can not go sedating everyone willy-nilly! Didn't I get into this field to _stop _needless sedation?_

The doctor sighed and started to mentally bash his head against his desk.

_I'm losing sight of myself.

* * *

_

Axel was alone in the 'living room' and bored to death by some shitty feel-good movie when Roxas sat down on the couch next to him. In the two minutes it took the character to realize something they should have realized half an hour ago, Roxas had climbed on Axel and the two were, once again, making out.

It was Zexion that stumbled upon them this time.

He didn't make a sound. He just turned around and ran down the hallway, fighting tears.

* * *

Sometime in the early afternoon, Marluxia came to. The nurse on duty didn't notice that he had awakened for 5 minutes, and when she did, she immediately ran off to fetch Dr. Evens, leaving Marluxia to his thoughts.

What had he done?

_I'll tell you what you did, _the Voice chipped in, _You beat that dumb whore Vexen married._

_ Stay out of this! _Marluxia mentally snapped in reply to the voice.

_Well, you asked._

_ It was a rhetorical question, dumbass! Get the Hell out of my head!_

_ No._

Marluxia ignored the Voice and continued thinking.

_Something happened when I was down an out. I think someone was talking to me, and I can swear someone _kissed _me!_

_ Yep! _The Voice chimed in _And I know who!_

_ Well, who was it?_

_ I'm not going to tell you._

_ Why not?_

_ Because you're a douche-bag._

_ Just fucking tell me!_

_ No. But here's a hint – you love him._

_ What the Hell? I don't 'love' people!_

At that moment, Dr. Evens walked in, and the Voice decided to shut up.

"Hello, Marluxia," the doctor greeted, "How are you feeling?"

"Why so formal, Vexy?" Marluxia replied mockingly.

"I am your doctor," he replied, "You are my patient. That is all."

"Right," Marluxia rolled his eyes. He could swear the Voice was _laughing_ at him.

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Tired and groggy – the usual after getting sedated."

"Have you been having any hallucinations?" The doctor checked each of his eyes with a flashlight.

"No."

"Heard anything no one else has?"

"No…"

_Liar.

* * *

_

Zexion was breaking down.

He was curled up on 'his' bed, hugging a pillow to his chest.

_Damn it._

He hadn't felt this hopeless since before getting here; since before he tried to kill himself.

_I'm a failure. Why am I always disappointing those around me? Why am I always disappointing _myself.

He was regretting the choices he made and it was killing him on the inside.

He wished that it was killing him on the outside, too.


	8. Chapter 7 Out

AN: Seriously, this took me a month and a half to type?

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and all it's characters belong to Square Enix, Disney, and Tetsuya Nomura

* * *

**Give Me a Reason**

**Chapter 7 – Out**

Zexion did not feel a thing. He went through his day acting even more like a robot than usual. His routine was the same as every day since he got here, but he barely noticed what he was doing. He hadn't even realized he had woken up until Vexen asked him a question during group.

"Huh?" the teen uncharacteristically asked and snapped his head up. The kid with the mullet – _I think his name is Demyx – _giggled a little at that.

"I asked you what you thought about our discussion topic," Vexen replied, scribbling on his clipboard, as usual.

"What is the topic?" Zexion asked in reply, his voice quieter than usual.

"Sexuality."

"I _still _don't understand why we have to talk about this," Axel complained.

"Because _I _suggested it," Marluxia countered, "And I am _awesome_!"

"Right," Axel rolled his eyes, "No one wants to hear about you and your _gay_ adventures."

When Zexion heard that, he snapped.

"And what's wrong with being gay?" he challenged the redhead.

"What? Nothing!"

"It sounded like something!" Suddenly, the emo stood up, knocking his chair over.

"Well, it wasn't anything!" Axel narrowed his eyes and straightened his posture.

"Guys!" Demyx yelled, also standing up, "Just let it be!"

Zexion turned to Demyx, "And why do _you _care!"

Something in Demyx's eyes changed. "Because _I'm _gay, dickwad! Now sit the fuck down!"

* * *

Axel had _never _heard Demyx yell before, and he had known the blonde for 11 years. The redhead covered his mouth in shock, not just at Demyx's anger and language, but also because of his confession.

"What?" Axel shouted, "You told me – "

"I _know _what I told you, Axel!" Demyx cut him off, "People change, you know!"

"I think," Vexen interjected, "That we should calm down and change the topic."

"No!" The groups – minus Roxas – shouted in unison.

"I need to hear this!" Axel franticly moved his hands around to prove his point.

"I'm not done yet," Zexion turned, wide-eyed, to face the doctor.

"I'm fucking pissed off!" Demyx just stood and glared.

"I'm highly amused," Marluxia added, smirking.

Of course, they were all talking at the same time, so Vexen had no clue what they were saying. He sighed and turned his head to look at Roxas.

"What do _you _think we should do?"

Suddenly, four pairs of eyes – three angry, one amused – were fixed on the blonde.

Needless to say, this freaked him out.

"I don't know!" he yelled, and stood. He immediately turned his chair around so he was facing away from the rest of the group, and when he sat down again, he pulled his knees to his chest and hid his head in them.

"Well," Demyx commented, both his voice and eyes shooting out daggers, "Aren't we fucked up?"

"Shut it, fucking faggot!" Axel yelled at his so-called friend.

"Oh, you goddamned _hypocrite_!" Demyx countered at the same time Zexion screamed that he _knew _Axel was homophobic.

"Hypocrite?" Marluxia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"This fucker's a freaking homo too!" Demyx shouted and pointed at Axel, "I bet that's one of the reasons you're in this shit hole!"

"You don't know _shit_!" Axel hissed as he stood and pushed Demyx.

"At least_ I'm_ not afraid to fucking admit it!" Demyx pushed him back.

"Neither of you know what it's like!" Zexion screamed, "Just being able to admit it so freely! Even you!" He spun around and pointed at Roxas, "Don't think we don't _know_! You just go around making out with random men, you whore! You don't know what it's like to have to hide! You don't know what it's like to be _hated_!"

* * *

_I _am _hated._

Roxas was hurt.

_Everyone hates me._

What Zexion said struck Roxas harder than a blow to the stomach.

I _hate me.

* * *

_

At Zexion's outburst, Demyx immediately felt the anger melt away from him. However, he was still freaking out, but for a different reason. He wanted to help Zexion, but he just didn't know how. So, he just hugged him.

When he felt Demyx's arms around him, Zexion broke into tears.

"It's okay" Demyx whispered in the emo's ear, "It's okay."

_No, it's not_, Zexion thought in reply, _No, it's not.

* * *

_

Vexen sighed and rested his head on his desk.

_Whatever am I to do with this group?_

After Zexion's fulmination at Roxas, Vexen immediately radioed for nurses to come and escort each member back to their rooms. Then, he scheduled an extra therapy session for every member (except Marluxia. Vexen did _not _want to deal with his bullshit right now).

* * *

Marluxia lied back on 'his' bed, holding back laughter. The behavior of his fellow group members amused him to no end. All the anger and frustration caused by subject as simple as sexuality! It was downright hilarious to him!

_And to think, _he thought, _I started all that!_

Needless to say, he was proud of himself.

_I'm proud of you, too. _The Voice chipped in.

And that was all Marluxia needed.

* * *

Zexion was upset to the point where he was shaking. Not only was what was said at group affecting him, but the fact that _he _started it was really getting to him.

_Someone is hurt every time I open my mouth_. _I might as well stop talking.

* * *

_

As soon as he got back to 'his' room, Demyx fell asleep. The constant switching of moods really took it out of him, especially when he became angry.

Before he drifted off to sleep, Zexion thought of Demyx, and how good it felt - physically _and _mentally - to finally hold him.

* * *

Axel was in a blind fury.

How _dare _Demyx tell everyone about his sexuality? How _dare _he lie to Axel through all those years?

In the midst of the wall punching, bed kicking rage, Axel made one thing certain in his mind: Demyx had to pay.

* * *

Roxas was alone in the world. Well, at least that's how he felt. He was such a slut – he barely knew Axel, but he had already made out with him twice! Plus, the redhead was so much older than him!

Zexion was right, he _was _a whore.

No one likes a whore.

_No one likes me._


	9. Chapter 8 Aftermath

**AN: **I don't even know what happened, but there are definite errors. However, most of these mistakes stem from the way I think/write. Anyways, a lot of weird shit going on here. Like, plotwise. I never intended for the part with Marluxia and Vexen to happen, but it did and I just made up Marluxia's past 5 minutes ago, but that's okay because I just opened a whole new storyline and I have the chance to introduce Xemnas and Saix and make Axel go through shit.

**Disclaimer: **Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney and Square Enix.

**Give Me a Reason**

**Chapter 8 - Aftermath**

* * *

Despite having 14 hours of sleep, Demyx was still exhausted. He had never switched moods so drastically and so quickly before, and he was normally tired when he switched to anger.

He didn't realize he had woken up and started making his way to breakfast until he saw _him._ Xigbar.

He couldn't fight. He couldn't yell. All he could do was stop in his tracks and glare until the nurse turned the corner. Then he sunk down against the wall, covered his mouth and screamed.

He screamed for the anger. He screamed for the depression. He screamed for the confusion. And most of all, he screamed because he was sick of it all.

Carefully, two arms encircled him and his face was buried in the crook of someone's neck. He didn't know who it was, but he hugged them back nonetheless. Then he cried and cried until a nurse came along to escort him to breakfast.

* * *

Roxas was shoved against the wall. This was a familiar situation, with a familiar smell and a familiar redhead. However, Axel was speaking, which was not what usually happened.

"Zexion said he saw you kissing random men," he stated, the previously untouched anger from what the emo had said making itself apparent in his voice.

"It was you," Roxas replied.

"Well he would have recognized me. Tell the fucking truth."

"It was only you," the blonde whispered. "He must not have recognized you. Think for a moment."

Axel paused and pulled away. "What?"

"Don't accuse me for doing something I didn't do."

He walked away, leaving Axel stunned. No one had ever stuck up to him like that, especially when he was in his violent rage. The redhead honestly didn't know what to think.

And neither did Roxas. He had never spoken up to someone like that, nonetheless walked away from an argument. And those were the first words he said to Axel…

He might have just completely blown a relationship.

* * *

After breakfast, Zexion had some time to himself. 'Free Time,' as it was called. Usually, the emo would watch TV in the 'living room' with a few other patients. But today, he went back to his room. He really needed to think, and being in a claustrophobic place like this really impaired one's ability to think for themselves.

Everyone had their own drama to deal with. Roxas was obviously very messed up, mostly because of mental reasons. Axel was angry at the world and wrongly diagnosed – he was here for depression, but just by being near him, Zexion could tell that this was not the case. Marluxia was a raging nymphomaniac who was able to place even their doctor under his spell. This caused Dr. Evens' life to become impaired, so his efforts to make everyone else 'better' were not working. Demyx, like Axel, was incorrectly diagnosed, but depression was part of it. He was probably suffering the most, but hid this with a dopey-ditzy attitude. But that hyper idiocy broke today…

No matter what, they were all selfish. They were all so self-absorbed that they didn't realize that they were _all_ suffering. In fact, they probably didn't realize that Zexion was suffering just as much as them, I not more.

_It's funny. _The teen chuckled to himself. _I'm probably the most selfish one here.

* * *

_

"I noticed that our little group happened to get another session scheduled." That voice made Vexen cringe.

"That is," Marluxia continued, "Everyone but me."

"You don't need it," Vexen's replied was laced with a sigh.

"Are you sure? After all, I initiated most of that."

"I know. However, you were not affected by it. On the contrary, you seemed to enjoy it. And I can surmise why."

"You can't," Marluxia walked up behind the doctor, "Even with all your reasoning abilities, you can't."

"And what makes you think this is so?" Dr. Evens turned to face his patient.

"You would have asked me already."

The chesire cat grin on Marluxia face almost made Vexen snap.

"Then let me ask you." Vexen's reply practically lit up Marluxia's face.

It was silent as Vexen tried to form the words in his head. He eventually gave up and decided to go with a more blunt question.

"Do you hear voices?"

"Only one," Marluxia replied.

_What are you telling him, Marluxia?_

Vexen asked yet another question, "Why didn't you lie about it now?"

"I've given up thinking. Whatever I'm gonna say, I'll say it without any hesitation. If I pause to think, the Voice chips in and things turn ugly."

_You better be quiet!_

"What brought this change about?" The doctor pursued.

"Our group session yesterday. I caused it, and although I seemed happy about causing it, deep down I wasn't."

"And what made you realize this?"

"A dream I had yesterday."

_You didn't dream yesterday! I would have known!_

_ Shut up. _Marluxia thought, _I've had enough of you. I want to be the me I want, not the me you want!_

_ Listen here, Marluxia – _

_ No! I know who you really are, and you're dead. I don't give a shit if it makes me crazy, because it's your fucking fault, dad!_

"What was the dream about?"

"My mom. She visited me, and told me what really happened to her and my dad."

"And what was that?"

"Dad was the murderer. It was a murder-suicide. And the entire time, I blamed myself."

Marluxia's head was silent as he started to cry.

"It sounds crazy," he continued, "But the Voice started after they died. It was Dad's voice, from _Hell._ Mom came to me in a dream and explained it all…"

He trailed off, leaving the only sound in the room Vexen's typing.

_This is an odd turn of events,_ the doctor wrote.

* * *

"So I heard that Marluxia's snapped," Xigbar commented to Dr. Lexaeus Schmidt.

He was met with silence as a reply.

"Oh, come on! I know you want to hear the details!" Xigbar complained.

"I do, but it is not my business."

"They're sending him to you, though."

"Then I'll hear about it later."

"Oh, you're no fun!" the nurse walked out at the same time Lexaeus' phone rang.

"Yes?" the doctor answered. Outside the office, Xigbar crouched down and pressed an ear against the door.

"I have heard from Xigbar," the doctor continued talking, "I know…This is true…More than just Marluxia?...Are you sure things are that bad?...Yes, I remember him, but…Yes…Yes…I understand…Have a nice day, too, sir."

_So more than one is being sent to the critical ward, _Xigbar smirked at his finding out of this information, _I'll have to find out who._


End file.
